SUBJECT: JANUARY EDITION OF SAUCER SMEAR MAGAZINE FILE: UFO909 "Dedicated to the Highest Principles of Ufological Journalism" SAUCER SMEAR Official Publication of the Saucer and Unexplained Celestial Events Research Society Non-scheduled Newsletter Editor and _Still_ Supreme Commander: James W. Moseley Mailing address for non-subscriptions: PO Box 1709 Key West, FL 33041 "Saucer Smear Online" is presented on ParaNet through the good graces of the editor and Supreme Commander, James W. Moseley. Any publication, reproduction, retransmission or rebroadcast of the material contained therein without the express written consent of Ashtar and the Earth Council will result in a visit by two men in black suits. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * SAUCER SMEAR ONLINE UPDATE: The 1987 National UFO Conference will take * * place Friday - Sunday, June 12-14, at the Burbank Hilton. * * rates are $55 single/double. For more details, contact * * convention organizer William Moore at 4219 W. Olive, Burbank, * * CA, 91505. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * SAUCER SMEAR ONLINE -- January 5th, 1987 As discussed in the past two "Smears", the Governing Board (called "Permanent Organizing Committee" of the National UFO Conference (NUFOC) consists of nine members, of whom your humble editor is Permanent Chairman. We mentioned the fact that the four Cleveland, Ohio Board members not only fail to cooperate among themseleves any more, they also totally neglect to keep in touch with Headquarters. Accordingly, Rick and Carol Hillberg, Bob Easley, and Al Manak are being replaced on the Board by four researchers who are more active currently in Ufology and thus more in tune with the aims and principles of the NUFOC. The new members are: Tom Benson, New Jersey State Director of MUFON and editor of the "Sixth Quark Journal"; Bill Moore, co-author of "The Roswell Incident" & "The Philadelphia Experiment", who will host our annual convention in June of this year; Ron Schaffner of Ohio, active in OUFOIL & editor of "Creature Chronicles"; and Hal Starr, genial host of our convention in Phoenix, Arizona last year and newly-appointed Arizona State Director of MUFON (replacing the ill-fated Bill Spaulding of GSW). Other members of the NUFOC's Permanent Organizing Committee, in addition to your editor, are: Long-time New York City researcher, editor and publisher Tim Beckley; Ed Biebel of Arizona, who hosted a NUFOC convention in Tucson a few years ago; Charles Wilhelm of OUFOIL; and Kal K. Korff. Korff, incidentally, is headed for the same Fate as the "Cleveland Four" unless he re-establishes contact with us and with others in the field of Ufology. Korff did a great expose on Col. Wendelle Stevens some time ago, and (unfortunately) was in charge of our ill-fated 1985 NUFOC convention in northern California. Since then, he seems to have become inactive. The NUFOC may not be the largest or best-known organization in the UFO field, but we've been around for about 23 years. Your editor is determined to keep the group alive and headed by people who -care- about the organization and about Ufology! TID-BITS OF TRASH: We sincerely hope all our loyal and semi-loyal non-subscribers had a Cool Yule.... Tom Brown, new director of Borderland Sciences Research Foundation (BSRF), is still interested in the late George Van Tassel's never-finished Integretron, sitting by itself out on the California desert. Writing in a recent issue of the Journal of Borderland Research, Tom enthuses: "The Integretron is a perfect workplace to study the science of the ethers. It is an all wood apparatus and is presently being wired by BSRF and associates. We don't know if it will be a rejuvenation machine, or a time-travel vortex, but by golly - we'll find out and publish the news in our Journal". Way to go, Tom Brown!...And, on the more nearly serious side - Mississippi inventor Joe Newman continues his battle with the U. S. Patent Office, in regard to his invention which the Government suspects of being a dreaded "Perpetual Motion Machine". More about this in our next ish... On Page 2 of the last "Smear" we wondered out loud if Col. Wendelle Stevens of Pleaides fame had been released prematurely from prison. Alas, the truth is otherwise. From a trusted overseas correspondent we learn that not only hasn't Wendelle been released, he has been transferred to a maximum security unit, "for no apparent reason, he says." Thos wishing to write to the Colonel can reach him at: ASPC - Douglas; Pima Unit (E-14 #2); PO Box 5003; Douglas, AZ 85608-5003 Martin Kottmeyer, that genial madman from Carlyle, IL, who in the past has charted the connection between rabbits and UFOs, now comes up with the fact that roughly ten percent of the names of extraterrestrials in UFO literature end in the letter O. Says he: "This is roughly 3 to 5 times the number you'd find in a random phone directory. This needs explaining, doesn't it?" Yes Martin, it does!.... LETTERS TO SAUCER SMEAR ----------------------- CHRISTOPHER ALLAN of England writes: Dear Commander: William Moore suggest Phil Klass retire from Ufology. Maybe he should, but elsewhere in your latest issue is a notice of a conference highlighting 40 years of UFOs, to be held in 1987 with two landmarks to commemorate: The Arnold sighting and the Roswell crashed disc affair. This is interesting because Moore quotes the date of the infamous Roswell crash as July 2nd, 1947. His arch opponent Klass insists the event occurred on June 14th 1947 - which pre-dates Arnold. I don't know who is right, but if this alleged crash is to be presented yet again next year, can we at least have the correct date of this event finally established? Incidentally, just to remind Ufologists: the modern era of UFOs did not begin in 1947, but in 1946 with the ghost rockets over Scandinavia; and the Swedish government report on those is still under wraps! Regards to you. Keep Ufology active, even if you know it is dead at 40! A clever promoter has "invented" a harmless, ineffectual "Anti-Demon and Monster Spray", to be sprayed in children's rooms at bedtime, to help overcome their fear of the dark. Having read about this product, ace Ufologist TOM BURCH writes: Using this product idea as a springboard, I have begun development of two similar aerosol repellents. The first of these spray products is called "Amway Away". It will be used by millions of people being bothered by acquaintances they haven't seen or heard from in twenty years who are now trying to recruit them as Amway sales reps. My second repellent spray will be called "Alien Away". It will be used by those fearing being abducted by UFO crews. The chemical base of the aerosol will replicate the body odors of Carl Sagan and Edward Condon - who said UFOs don't exist anyway. I'm also developing a higher tech version of "Alien Away" which utilizes sonics. It will also be used by those fearing UFO abductions, but this product is targeted for the yuppie market. Designed for automobile installation and using external speakers mounted on car tops or fenders, the "Auto Alien Away" system will broadcast up to three continuous hours of Phil Klass' most famous anti-UFO arguments. "Auto Alien Away" will be far more than just a repellent - it will be a true deterrent. For as we all well know, Klass' arguments can bore anyone to death! MARK OPSASNICK, a new non-subscriber writes: ...For some time now I have been doing research on Bigfoot sightings from my home state of Maryland. I do have an interest in UFOs, but the idea that the two are related is something that I can't quite swallow. Recently I had a chance to read several of your "Saucer Smears" and I must say that I really enjoy the publication. I find them extremely interesting and informative, in addition to being worth a good laugh.... My research on Maryland Bigfoot sightings led me to former MARCENite Larry Peters...Letters from Mr. Peters stated that he had, in fact, sighted these red-eyed, three-toed Bigfoot creatures on numerous occasions. A friend of Mr. Peters confirmed that the majority of their sightings took place in a small strip of land known as Patapsco Valley State Park, about ten miles west of Baltimore, from 1982 to the present time. Wary because of Mr. Peters' involvement in a little episode called "Night Siege", I contacted superintendant Carl Livesay, a ranger for thirty years at Patapsco. Mr. Livesay laughed and claimed that he has _never_ heard of a Bigfoot report in the state park! Mr. Livesay also stated that an article which appeared in the March-April 1979 edition of "The INFO Journal", flagrantly misquoted his statements about such creatyures. Mr. Livesay recalls telling a reporter about bear reports, but nothing more. In addition, computer and microfilm checks with the records divisions of all area state, local, and county police agencies revealed that there has not been a single Bigfoot sighting reported to police in the Patapsco region since the 1973 "Sykesville Monster" flap. I rest my case. I have since been told that Mr. Peters has left the area. I'm certain the "red- eyed creatures" have followed! ERIK BECKJORD, whose critics are so numerous that they have to line up to get his attention, is still answering criticism of his lecture at our May 1986 Phoenix, AZ NUFOC convention, as well as more recent charges. In the letter that follows, Erik continues the dreary battle: ...[CSICOPer Robert] Shaeffer and ParaNet's Jim Speiser both take me to task for making it seem as if Sheaffer and [TUSKS Founder and Ufologist] Major [James] McGaha were admitting (at the convention) that UFOs exist, when I stated that both stated clearly and directly to me that they felt Phil Klass' "squid boat theory" was wrong. If these two Omni-crits want to support Sheaffer's "squid boat _fleet_" idea, despite the fact that Bruce Maccabee has thoroughly shot that one down as well, then let them persist in their delusions. But they did say Klass was _wrong_.... ********************************************** * THE U.F.O. BBS - http://www.ufobbs.com/ufo * **********************************************