Info-ParaNet Newsletters Volume I Number 600 Wednesday, October 28th 1992 (C) Copyright 1992 Paranet Information Service. All Rights Reserved. Today's Topics: Re: METEORITE TOTALS CAR! 'going To Extremes', 9/22/92 AntiGravity UFO Language, Adamski Group, etc. directions to a groom lake viewing sight(legal) Leeds Conference Fortean Society Conference Ufo Encounter Jim Garrison Anti-gravity Flying Saucer Tr-3a Re: Nasa Shake Up Rumor? SETI = HRMS = ???? Fortean Society Conferenc Weekly World News ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Pete.Porro@f414.n154.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Pete Porro) Subject: Re: METEORITE TOTALS CAR! Date: 16 Oct 92 17:08:49 GMT She should be able to buy a new car with the sale of the meteorite? -- Pete Porro - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Pete.Porro@f414.n154.z1.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Don.Allen@p1.f81.n363.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Don Allen) Subject: 'going To Extremes', 9/22/92 Date: 18 Oct 92 20:31:07 GMT > I would like a description of what you saw, if not inconvernient. > Thanks. (this is in regard to what you saw on 9/22). > --- Think we have a mixup here..I wasn't the one who saw the actual show,but was merely responding to Jim Shaffer who posted his query on the echo. Actual posting is as follows: -------------------------------------------------------------------------- (5654) Wed 23 Sep 92 12:30 By: Ncar!cbmvax cbm commodore Com!vanth To: All Re: 'Going To Extremes', 9/22/92 St: 5655> --------------------------------------------------------------------------- @UFGATE newsin 1.27 From: cbmvax.cbm.commodore.com!vanth!jms Date: 23 Sep 92 07:29:46 GMT Message-ID: <27711@scicom.AlphaCDC.COM> Newsgroups: info.paranet From: vanth!jms@cbmvax.cbm.commodore.com (Jim Shaffer) Would someone who saw 'Going To Extremes' on ABC tonight (9/22) please confirm that I didn't hallucinate the final scene? And if I didn't, what was it *doing* there? It didn't have any relationship to the rest of the show. (Gee, this sounds a lot like the 'I'm not going to argue who shot John...' thing.) -- * From the disk of: | jms@vanth.uucp | 'there's a hell of Jim Shaffer, Jr. | uunet!cbmvax!vanth!jms | a good universe 37 Brook Street | jms%vanth@cbmvax.commodore.com | next door; let's go' Montgomery, PA 17752 | 72750.2335@compuserve.com | (e.e. cummings) ** End of post ** Hope this clears it up. :-) Don -- Don Allen - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Don.Allen@p1.f81.n363.z1.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Steve.Gresser@f100.n1012.z9.FIDONET.ORG (Steve Gresser) Subject: AntiGravity Date: 19 Oct 92 17:26:00 GMT * Forwarded from "FIDO Science Echo" * Originally by Pat Parrinello * Originally to All * Originally dated 17 Oct 1992, 14:53 Well folks, after seeing an "antigravity" sound device presented on CNN Science news, a few memory cells were stimulated & I dug up an old book. The book is THE BRIDGE TO INFINITY - HARMONIC 371299 by Bruce Cathe. It was published in 1983 by Quark Enterprises Limited, 158 Shaw Road, Oratia, Auckland and Brookfield Press, P.O. Box 1201, Auckland, New Zeland. This guy may or may not fit the Yorkian mold but due to recent developments I think what he brought up back then may have some small merit. I leave it to you to judge and I hope this may stimulate a few threads. Exerts from pages 139 - 146: " THE SECRETS OF LEVITATION A New Zealand scientist recently gave me an intriguing extract from an article published in a German magazine, relating to a demonstration of levitation in Tibet. After obtaining a translation by a German journalist, in English, I was amazed at the information contained in the story, and was surprised that the article had slipped through the suppression net which tends to keep such knowledge from leaking out to the public. All the similar types of stories that I had read up until now were generally devoid of specific information necessary to prove the veracity of the account. In this case a full set of geometric measurements were taken, and I discovered, to my great delight, that when they were converted into their equivalent geodetic measures, relating to grid harmonics the values gave a direct association with those in the unified harmonic equations published in my earlier works. The following extracts are translations taken from the German article: 'We know from the priests of the far east that they were able to lift heavy boulders up high mountains with the help of groups of various sounds .. The knowledge of the various vibrations in the audio range demonstrates to a scientist of physics that a vibrating and condensed sound field can nullify the power of gravitation. Swedish engineer Olaf Alexanderson wrote about this phenomenon in the publication, Implosion No. 13. The following report is based on observations which were made only 20 years ago in Tibet. I have this report from civil engineer and flight manager, Henry Kjelson, a friend of mine. He later on included this report in his book The Lost Techniques. This is his report: A Swedish doctor, Dr Jarl, a friend of Kjelsons, studied at Oxford. During those times he became friends with a young Tibetan student. A couple of years later, it was 1939, Dr Jarl made a journey to Egypt for the English Scientific Society. There he was seen by a messenger of his Tibetan friend, and urgently requested to come to Tibet to treat a high Lama. After Dr Jarl got the leave he followed the messenger and arrived after a long journey by plane and Yak caravans, at the monastery, where the old Lama and his friend who was now holding a high position were now living. Dr Jarl stayed there for some time, and because of his friendship with the Tibetans he learned a lot of things that other foreigners had no chance to hear about, or observe. One day his friend took him to a place in the neighborhood of the monastery and showed him a sloping meadow which was surrounded in the north west by high cliffs. In one of the rock walls, at a height of about 250 metres was a big hole which looked like the entrance to a cave. In front of this hole there was a platform on which the monks were building a rock wall. The only access to this platform was from the top of the cliff and the monks lowered themselves down with the help of ropes. In the middle of the meadow. about 250 metres from the cliff, was a polished slab of rock with a bowl like cavity in the centre. The bowl had a diameter of one metre and a depth of 15 centimeters. A block of stone was manoeuvred into this cavity by Yak oxen. The block was one metre wide and one and one-half metres long. Then 19 musical instruments were set in an arc of 90 degrees at a distance of 63 metres from the stone slab. The radius of 63 metres was measured out accurately. The musical instruments consisted of 13 drums and six trumpets. (Ragdons). Eight drums had a cross-section of one metre, and a length of one and one- half metres. Four drums were medium size with a cross- section of 0.7 metre and a length of one metre. The only small drum had a cross-section of 0.2 metres and a length of 0.3 metres. All the trumpets were the same size. They had a length of 3.12 metres and an opening of 0.3 metres. The big drums and all the trumpets were fixed on mounts which could be adjusted with staffs in the direction of the slab of stone. The big drums were made of 3 ???????????????????????? So, there you have it. Hum the wrong mantra and you may get hit by a 747! -Pat- -- Steve Gresser - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Steve.Gresser@f100.n1012.z9.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: violet.berkeley.edu!chalmers Subject: UFO Language, Adamski Group, etc. Date: 20 Oct 92 15:20:56 GMT From: chalmers@violet.berkeley.edu (John H. Chalmers Jr.) Does anyone have any information about a group called THE STAR FELLOWSHIP based in Surrey, England? I saw a reference to it in the book 'Quest for the Unknown, UFO: The Continuing Enigma' published in 1991 by the Reader's Digest Press Association, ISBN 0-89577-397-X. The SF is described as being based on the philosophy of George Adamski a famous 1950's era contactee. My principle interest in this group is a glossary of a language called 'Solexmal' which is claimed to be 'the apparent interlingua of the Solar System' and is distributed by the organization. Many years ago I saw a book containing samples of this language at a UFO conference in Escondido, California. My recollection is that it has an agglutinative, quasi-logographic script. The book was called 'Other Tongues, Other Flesh.' I also remember seeing a chart with labels such as 'Sector 'Blaau' ' and 'Orb of 'Contri''; those words in single quotes may be from Solexmal. I'd like to get a look at this presumably artificial language again, so I'd appreciate an address for SF. I would cross post this message to sci.lang except that I am unable to receive it at the the moment. I would appreciate it very much if any one would do it for me and relay any significant responses. -- John -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Michael.Corbin@p0.f428.n104.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Michael Corbin) Subject: directions to a groom lake viewing sight(legal) Date: 21 Oct 92 03:25:01 GMT Date: Tue, 20 Oct 92 09:02:07 PDT "... If you want to see it for yourself they still test at sunset on wednesday nights; the last time I saw it was April 3, 1991. Take I-15 to a few miles north of Las Vegas and then go north on highway 93. Just after Ash Springs take the left fork in the road which will be highway 375, and after you come down from Hancock Pass into the valley you will see a straight dirt road about 10 miles long. That's the northeast entrance to Groom Lake. Turn off a few hundred feet, and look to the south at sunset or a little after..." The maps I have obtained indicate these directions are followable, although I have changed the '357' of the original posting to since no 357 exists in northern Nevada and 375 does(it goes along the north side of Nellis). My comments earlier on Area 51 vs. S4 were backwards(with regards to the testimony of Bob Lazar. BOB brought up S4(uniquely?) which seems to be on the north shore of Papoose Lake. He claimed the hangers were built into the sides of the mountains there with the doors slanted to match the slope of the mountain(foothills?) and painted to look like the surrounding soil. I would not think this would be very visible from the air(via satellite). -- Michael Corbin - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Michael.Corbin@p0.f428.n104.z1.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mrc-crc.ac.uk!sgamble Subject: Leeds Conference Date: 21 Oct 92 19:32:49 GMT From: sgamble@mrc-crc.ac.uk (Steve Gamble x3293) In Newsletter Number 598, Rob trevelyan reports on the Yorkshire UFO Society's recent conference. Thanks for the report on YUFOS. My friend Robin Lindsey also attended and found it pretty interesting. I think Robin videod it on behalf of Graham Birsall, so maybe copies will be available (but I guess European PAL standard only) Regards, Steve -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: mrc-crc.ac.uk!sgamble Subject: Fortean Society Conference Date: 21 Oct 92 19:32:58 GMT From: sgamble@mrc-crc.ac.uk (Steve Gamble x3293) In Newletter 598 Bob Dunn posts information about the Fortean Society conference May 1993. Thanks for the information Bob. A friend of mine Robin Lindsey attended the conference FS held last year. It sounded pretty good. I am not sure if I will be able to get to the USA next year, but if possible I would think about coming to Lincoln. The past two years I have been to both Leo Sprinkle's Conference in Laramie and to the MUFON conference. Next year we hope to be organising a conference in the UK a couple of weeks after the date of the MUFON conference so time might be tight. Is it possible to sent mail to your bulletin board from either Internet or RIME/WILDNET? It would be great to be able to mail people like Scott. Please pass regards from Robin and me to Kathryn and Scott. Regards, Steve Gamble -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Michael.Corbin@p0.f428.n104.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Michael Corbin) Subject: Ufo Encounter Date: 22 Oct 92 01:51:01 GMT * Forwarded from "Fidonet UFO Conference" * Originally by Peter Lutus * Originally to All * Originally dated 17 Oct 1992, 19:50 I was 11 when I saw a Triangle shaped object 50 feet above me. It had three green sphere's at each corner with tubes between the spheres. I knew it wasn't anything normal cause it was tumbling through the air, and that is not possible. It barely made a grinding noise as it passed overhead and when it got directly above me it stopped tumbling and froze. I suddenly became terrorized from every inch of my body. I knew it saw me and now it was looking at me and I thought of it like a shark, you see him swim by, no problem but then it hunches it's fins and comes at you and wham! Scared beyond belief. I didn't want it to stop and say hi or greet me or nothing. I thought get the ##@# away from me or I'll scream! I yelled for my friend who was about a block away by then and he ran back and followed me through three yards and six fences onto the side of the freeway 880. He then saw it also as it finally passed over us on it's route toward "MOFFETT FIELD". No one ever believed me except my friend who saw it. Recently I saw some sightings show where a woman drew a picture of a hugh craft. Three green sphere's with tubes between and I freaked out. What about the rings in the hay fields in england. I know what is causing these occurences without a doubt. -- Michael Corbin - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Michael.Corbin@p0.f428.n104.z1.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Michael.Corbin@p0.f428.n104.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Michael Corbin) Subject: Jim Garrison Date: 22 Oct 92 02:06:01 GMT Jim Garrison, author of ON THE TRAIL OF THE ASSASSINS, died today at the age of 70. No more information available at this time. More follows. -- Michael Corbin - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Michael.Corbin@p0.f428.n104.z1.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Don.Allen@p1.f81.n363.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Don Allen) Subject: Anti-gravity Flying Saucer Date: 20 Oct 92 01:13:00 GMT > * Originally by Steven Vere > * Originally to All > * Originally dated 16 Oct 1992, 12:32 > From: vere@netcom.com (Steven Vere) > Date: 16 Oct 92 07:09:07 GMT > Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 > guest) > Message-ID: <1992Oct16.070907.14099@netcom.com> > Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors > I saw the following in sci.research and thought people here might > be interested too. > _____________________________________________________________________ > From: mcelwre@cnsvax.uwec.edu ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hmmmm..could it be? > Robert E. McElwaine > B.S., Physics and Astronomy, > UW-EC Yep..thought so. Thanks for forwarding this but this McElwaine guy has a serious credibility problem judging by comments in sci.physics by his own peers. I think I d/l something the McElwaine posted not long ago on the Soviet "cosmospheres" and which he made plentiful references to one Dr. Peter Beter (long deceased); as soon as I read Beter's name I stopped reading because the BS factor was getting too high. Don -- Don Allen - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Don.Allen@p1.f81.n363.z1.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: John.Powell@f601.n109.z1.FIDONET.ORG (John Powell) Subject: Tr-3a Date: 21 Oct 92 07:43:00 GMT -=> Quoting Jim Speiser to All <=- JS> Does anyone here have a photo or artist's conception of the TR-3A JS> "Black Manta"? Is there a GIF file extant? Can anyone at least direct JS> me to an issue of AvWeek or any other magazine that featured a photo of JS> this craft? I wish there was a GIF but I haven't seen one around yet. This item isn't suppossed to exist is it? The December 1991 issue of Popular Mechanics has an artist's conception of a TR-3A on the cover. (_Outstanding drawing_, looks something like Batman's airplane... ) On page 32, same magazine, another artist's rendering, on page 33 is shows Front/Side/Top view drawings, the artist for all of them is Mark McClandlish. Thanks, take care. John. - ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.10 -- John Powell - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: John.Powell@f601.n109.z1.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Michael.Corbin@p0.f428.n104.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Michael Corbin) Subject: Re: Nasa Shake Up Rumor? Date: 22 Oct 92 13:23:01 GMT * Forwarded from "Sci.Space" * Originally by Josh 'k' Hopkins * Originally to All * Originally dated 21 Oct 1992, 12:31 From: jbh55289@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Josh 'K' Hopkins) Date: 20 Oct 92 22:41:35 GMT Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana Message-ID: Newsgroups: sci.space roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle) writes: >What's going on at NASA H.Q.? There are rumors floating about. Here is >a summary of what I have heard, and maybe someone closer to the source >would care to elaborate. >#RUMOR ON# >On Thursday, Administrator Goldin appointed Lennard A. Fisk, Office of >Space Science and Applications (OSSA), to be NASA's new Chief >Scientist (a position which has been vacant for a number of years). >OSSA is headless and budgetless. Wesley Huntress, also from OSSA, is >now heading the Mission From Planet Earth effort. >#RUMOR OFF# The latest _Space News_ has the story on page 3. Lennard Fisk, Tom Campbell and Marty Kress of science, comptroller and legislative offices respectively have been reassigned. Kress is now cheif scientist in Goldin's office, and the other two are in the space station program. The article includes some quotes saying it was a bad idea, some saying it was good and one from Kress that suggests he's happy with the move. Goldin is apparently opening the competion for replacements to outsiders, which has some worried that NASA will be taken over by DoD and DoE types. -- Josh Hopkins jbh55289@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu The views expresed above do not necessarily reflect those of ISDS, UIUC, NSS, IBM FSC, NCSA, NMSU, AIAA or the American Association for the Advancement of Acronymphomaniacs -- Michael Corbin - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Michael.Corbin@p0.f428.n104.z1.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ecn.purdue.edu!lush Subject: SETI = HRMS = ???? Date: 22 Oct 92 17:29:45 GMT From: lush@ecn.purdue.edu (Gregory B Lush) The following is from a weekly newsletter from the American Physical Society. I thought it's humor as well as its info was appropriate to you readers. Greg From VP.APS@Forsythe.Stanford.EDU Fri Oct 16 16:34:26 1992 From: 'Janice Smith' Subject: What's New for 10-16-92 WHAT'S NEW, Friday, 16 October 1992 Washington, DC 4. THE HIGH RESOLUTION MICROWAVE SURVEY: WAITING FOR E.T. TO CALL It is a strange and wonderful universe out there, and nowhere is it stranger than in an appropriations conference committee in the final hours before Congress adjourns. SETI, the Search for Extra- terrestrial Intelligence, was a natural target for anti-science budget cutters, who delighted in floor speeches about the need to search for intelligent life on Capitol Hill. SETI got zapped from the FY 93 NASA appropriation by the House, but the Senate agreed to the full $13.5M request. The Senate conferees proposed a neat compromise: allow SETI to die--but reincarnate it as HRMS (High Resolution Microwave Survey). Projects don't bother people, names bother people! The new name was chosen by the Senate staff. On Columbus Day, less than a week after SETI 'died,' NASA threw the switch on the most thorough search ever conducted for a signal from E.T.. We can report that no messages have yet been received. Robert L. Park (202) 662-8700 The American Physical Society To: WHATSNEW(Personal Dist. List) -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Bob.Dunn@p0.f31.n1012.z9.FIDONET.ORG (Bob Dunn) Subject: Fortean Society Conferenc Date: 22 Oct 92 09:46:00 GMT NC>Thanks for the information Bob. A friend of mine Robin Lindsey NC>attended the conference FS held last year. It sounded pretty NC>good. Last year's con WAS pretty good, we had kind of a crop circle focus, with Jenny Randles and George Wingfield. This year we decided to "go UFO" mainly to make enough money to pay for the last two conferences. We usually try to mix things up a little by having lectures on ghosts and cryptozoology, etc but UFOs are where the money is... NC>I am not sure if I will be able to get to the USA next year, but NC>if possible I would think about coming to Lincoln. The past two NC>years I have been to both Leo Sprinkle's Conference in Laramie NC>and to the MUFON conference. Next year we hope to be organising NC>a conference in the UK a couple of weeks after the date of the NC>MUFON conference so time might be tight. Yeah, these conferences have a way of sneaking up on you, we're six months away from ours but it's never too early to start getting the word out. Good luck with yours, who do you have lined up so far? NC>Is it possible to sent mail to your bulletin board from either NC>Internet or RIME/WILDNET? It would be great to be able to mail NC>people like Scott. Well, you could send it Fidonet, I think. The address is 1:285/205, I'd like to add Internet eventually but e-mail is still a bit of a mystery to me. But yes, you can reach Scott through the board here. NC>Please pass regards from Robin and me to Kathryn and Scott. Will do. * OLX 2.1 TD * ParaNet(sm) Alpha-Beta 9:1012/31 Fido 1:285/205 - JetMail v1.14a6 - Unregistered QWK Mail Door for Spitfire -- Bob Dunn - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Bob.Dunn@p0.f31.n1012.z9.FIDONET.ORG -------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Don.Allen@p1.f81.n363.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Don Allen) Subject: Weekly World News Date: 22 Oct 92 08:56:03 GMT ITEM: ----- Spotted this rag in the supermarket today and liked the cover. I found the story so amusing that I wanted to share this with all of you. Have fun (Great suit job for the "ET" or is it? Where are the seams? :-) ======================================================================== Source: Weekly World News - Nov 3,1992 edition. Pages 23-25 Cover: Clinton and Bush walking arm and arm with a "ET" Headline: Alien's Bombshell: 5 Senators are from Outer Space! Author: Nick Mann WASHINGTON - A space alien who stunned the world when he met with presidential candidates George Bush, Bill Clinton and Ross Perot dropped yet another bombshell when he invited Clinton and Bush to a summit conference in Washington and revealed that five U.S. senators are extraterrestrials just like he is! It is not clear what the space alien was trying to accomplish by naming veteran Senators Orrin Hatch, Sam Nunn, Alan Simpson, John Glenn and Nancy Kassebaum as undercover ambassadors from another planet. But sources close to Bush and Clinton say the alien is almost certainly trying to secure a cabinet post in the next administration. And if that is the case, the creature might very well have revealed the names of our space alien senators to prove that extraterrestrials are not only capable of guiding the destinies of mankind, they have the track record to prove it. "These five senators have a total of 82 years experience at the highest levels of American government and stand as shining examples of what aliens are able to accomplish while working for and with an inferior species, in this case, human beings," declared author and UFO expert Nathaniel Dean. Dean cited sources close to Governor Clinton and President Bush when he blew the lid off the historic summit in a report to newsmen in Washington. "If the alien really is seeking a cabinet post, he's got five impeccable references in Senators Hatch, Kassebaum, Glenn, Simpson, and Nunn," he continued. "But even if he isn't seeking such a post, revealing their true identities to President Bush and Gov. Clinton was a political masterstroke. "In one fell swoop the creature managed to put both men in his debt while keeping both of them as his friends. "Regardless of who wins the election, this alien will have the president's ear and trust. "If he wants a cabinet post he'll get a cabinet post. If he wants power he'll get power. It's as simple as that." Not surprisingly, Dean's report touched off a controversy that is expected to rage for months or years to come. Skeptics were quick to cry "hoax." But supporters were just as quick to point out that Dean's record as a writer and researcher with close ties to America's power elite is beyond challenge. The expert courageously risked the wrath of the Secret Service and CIA when he reported on previous meetings the space alien had with Bush in 1991 and Clinton and Perot earlier this year. The President and Governor Clinton isuued no denials when confronted with the reports during televised news conferences, that were covered from all over the world. Senators Hatch (R-Utah), Simpson (R-Wyoming), Kassebaum (R-Kansas), Glenn (D-Ohio) and Nunn (D-Georgia) appeared to be taken off guard by the space alien's allegations and initially denied them. But in the final analysis, two of the senators resigned themselves to the fact that their covers were blown. Contacted at his office in Washington, Glenn, a former NASA astronaut who orbited the planet in 1962 said through an aide: "Okay....okay...you found us out but remember this - mankind is not alone." Nunn went even further than that when he suggested that the five senators named as extraterrestrials are just the tip of the iceberg. "I'm almost positive there are more," the senator, speaking through an aide, said. Dean's sources said the space alien met with Bush and Clinton in a CIA safe house in Washington on October 14. The 90-minute meeting was limited to a discussion of the five senators and the roles they play in U.S. politics. "Clinton and Bush have been tight-lipped about the meeting but all hell is breaking loose behind the scenes," said Dean. "In fact, I'm told that Bush has created a special task force to study ramifications of having extraterrestrials in the Senate. "The first question that came to my mind was whether the senators are U.S. citizens and eligible to serve in the Senate," he continued. "Clinton and Bush apparently asked the same question and were assured that the senators are U.S. citizens and qualified for public office. "I assume that they were born in America to extraterrestrial parents who came to Earth many, many years ago. And even though the senators might look human, I'm told that, in this case, appearances are deceiving. "In his meeting with the alien, President Bush specifically asked the extraterrestrial why the senators don't look alien. The alien answered "The senators look human because they choose to look human. It is a simple matter for us to change our forms." The alien's allegations raise more questions than they answer, of course, and only Clinton and Bush have heard the whole story. "I, for one, want to know where these extraterrestrials came from and why they want to run our country," said Dean. "From all appearances they have the best interests of mankind at heart. But as the alien himself said, appearances can be deceiving." ** End of article ** ===================================================================== Oh...you want to know what _other_ articles appear in this rag? Hehe.. "Man bites off girlfriend's lip - and spits it out on sidewalk" "Breast implants made my boobs glow in the dark!" "Man's eyeballs pop out when he eats a double-decker sandwich!" "A grizzly ate my husband while I watched!" "Your neighbor may be a space alien!" "Woman marries a Shark" {He's a lot better than any man!} and finally (my favorite).... "More Americans can name the Three Stooges than the Presidential candidates!" All the news that fits,eh? :-) Don -- Don Allen - via ParaNet node 1:104/422 UUCP: !scicom!paranet!User_Name INTERNET: Don.Allen@p1.f81.n363.z1.FIDONET.ORG ******************************************************************************* Submissions infopara@scicom.alphacdc.com Administrative requests infopara-request@scicom.alphacdc.com FTP archive grind.isca.uiowa.edu:/info/paranet/infopara Permission to distribute Michael.Corbin@paranet.org Private mail to Paranet/Fidonet users firstname.lastname@paranet.org UUCP gateway {ncar,isis,csn}!scicom *********************End**of**the**InfoPara**Newsletter************************