Filename: Omni-4.Art Type : Article Author : Dennis Stacy Date : 00/00/00 Desc. : The Alien Almanac ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The following article was originally published in the science ˙magazine OMNI. ˙˙It is reproduced here exactly as it appeared in ˙its ˙original form, without so much as a misplaced comma, period, or question mark. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- From "OMNI"--December 1990 THE ALIEN ALMANAC: THE PEOPLES FIRST UFO LEXICON FOR THE NINETIES by Dennis Stacy The field of UFOlogy has changed drastically over the past 20 years-- and ˙so ˙has ˙the language used ˙to ˙describe ˙extraterrestrials, ˙˙UFO witnesses, ˙˙and ˙alien ˙ships. ˙In the Forties and Fifties ˙UFO ˙buffs described ˙their observations of mysterious objects in the ˙night ˙sky, bandying ˙such terms as FLYING SAUCER and LITTLE GREEN MEN with aplomb. In ˙the ˙Sixties these UFO stories, ˙recorded by the Air Force ˙in ˙its notorious Project Blue Book, ˙became legion around the world. ˙Finally, in ˙the ˙Seventies, ˙˙UFO advocates got into ˙the ˙physicality ˙of ˙the phenomenon, ˙reporting "nocturnal lights," ˙"daylight discs," ˙and even electronic ˙blips racing across radar screens. ˙Seventies UFO fans also referred ˙to ˙"close encounters," ˙including the ˙consciousness-raising "close encounters of the third kind," in which humans and aliens meet. But ˙UFOlogy has gone through a radical change, ˙and in the ˙Nineties the terms of the past are largely obsolete. During the past decade, for instance, ˙˙literally ˙thousands ˙of people have come ˙forward ˙to ˙say they've been kidnapped, ˙or "abducted," ˙by short, large headed, ˙thin- lipped ˙entities ˙with ˙saucer ˙eyes. ˙Yet others ˙report ˙weird ˙"crop circles," ˙mutilated cattle, and frightening "men-in-black." ˙If you've fallen ˙behind ˙the times, ˙you can now catch up with the ˙UFO ˙lexicon below. ABDUCTIONS: Occur ˙whenever a human speciamn is taken aboard ˙a UFO ˙against his or her will. ˙Those reporting ˙the experience are reffered to as 'abductees.' ANIMAL MUTILATIONS: Typically ˙refers ˙to surgically ˙mutilated ˙cattle carcasses ˙found primarily throughout the ˙American West and Southwest. ˙Horses, pigs, cats, ˙and other animals may also be attacked. Soft external tissues like ˙the ˙eyes, ˙lips, ˙and sexual organs ˙may ˙be excised with almost laserlike precision. ˙˙Internal organs and tissue like the heart and, ˙on occasion, fetuses may be removed as well. ˙The animal carcass is ˙frequently found in a remote area, ˙˙devoid ˙of blood, ˙after hovering lights have been seen above. Many ˙law-enforcement ˙agencies ˙attribute ˙˙animal mutilations ˙˙to ˙wild ˙animals ˙or ˙satanic ˙˙cult activities, though few arrests in that context have ever been made. CONTACTEES: Unlike ˙the ˙abductees, ˙contactees ˙have ˙reported almost ˙˙˙universally ˙˙˙benevolent ˙˙˙experiences. Commonly, the Aryan-looking aliens they report warn against ˙nuclear ˙war and pollution ˙and ˙criticize man's materialistic ways. COSMIC WATERGATE: New ˙Brunswick ˙nuclear physicist Stanton ˙Friedman may not have coined the phrase 'cosmic ˙watergate,' but ˙he claims to have used it more often than ˙any living ˙UFOlogist. ˙First used in the wake ˙of ˙the Republican ˙break-in at Democratic headquarters ˙in the Watergate complex, ˙Washington, ˙DC, ˙the ˙term refers ˙to an alleged government cover-up of aliens and UFOs. CRASHED SAUCERS: According ˙to rumor, ˙several crashed flying ˙discs were ˙recovered ˙and secreted away by the ˙military authorities ˙over the years. ˙Some UFOlogists claim that alien bodies have been retrieved as well. CROP ˙CIRCLES: Strange swirled cirlces ˙in ˙Britain's ˙breadbasket first ˙appeared ˙in significant numbers during ˙the summer of 1980. Last year alone more than 500 ˙such circles surfaced, many showing a growing complexity of ˙evolution ˙in terms of ˙patterns ˙and ˙display. Explananations range from the meteorological to the supernatural. GRAYS: So-called because of their pallid, dolphinlike skin and ˙complexion. ˙The most commonly reported ˙alien humanoid entities, Grays are typically described as dwarfish ˙in ˙stature ˙with ˙oversized, ˙˙fetuslike heads; ˙˙large, ˙˙slanted black eyes; ˙and ˙scrawny limbs. HYPNOTIC REGRESSION: The process by which UFOlogists hypnotize abductees to ˙help them recall details of the core ˙abduction experience. IMPLANTS: Tiny, ˙BB-shaped monitoring devices inserted during the ˙standard ˙abduction ˙and ˙subsequent ˙physical examination ˙of humans by alien ˙beings. ˙˙Usually inserted ˙through ˙the ˙nasal ˙passages ˙and ˙other obscure ˙orifices ˙of the ˙victim, ˙˙implants ˙have reportedly ˙been ˙lodged ˙in the brains ˙of ˙some abuctees and, in at least one instance, in the penis. MEN IN BLACK: Long ˙a staple of the dark side of UFO ˙lore, ˙˙the notorious MIB first surfaced in "They Knew Too Much About Flying Saucers," a 1956 ˙book by the late UFO entrepreneur ˙Gray ˙Barker. ˙Posing ˙as ˙governemt agents, ˙˙Men ˙In ˙Black suddenly appear on ˙a ˙UFO witness' doorstep, demanding photographic negatives or other UFO evidence while warning the witness to keep ˙quiet ˙about what he may have seen. ˙˙MIB typically appear in pairs or threes and ˙dress in conservative dark suits. ˙They typically drive black ˙Cadillacs or some other large, ˙dark-colored American sedan. MISSING TIME: An episode of amnesia reported in association ˙with a UFO abduction or close encounter. Such gaps in ˙awareness ˙commonly ˙surface ˙in ˙a ˙˙piecemeal fashion, ˙˙most vividly as a result ˙of ˙hypnotic regression. NORDS: The ˙second ˙most ˙prominant type of ˙UFO ˙occupant reported after the diminutive Grays. The nordic aliens--or Nords, ˙for short-- customarily resemble ˙human ˙beings ˙of ˙Scandinavian ˙descent. They have blue eyes and blonde hair and, unlike the malevolent ˙Grays, ˙are generally percieved as neutral or benevolent. TECTONIC STRAIN: The ˙earth's surface is made up of ˙several ˙large, floating plates constantly colliding in slow motion with ˙one ˙another. ˙˙The ˙result: ˙active tectonic strain ˙˙released ˙as ˙earthquakes ˙˙and ˙˙volcanic activity. ˙˙Some ˙researchers have ˙suggested ˙that geomagnetic fields produced by the ˙tectonic strain create the strange ˙lights sometimes interpreted as UFOs. ˙Under certain circumstances, ˙theory has it, the geomagnetic fields ˙could ˙directly ˙affect the human nervous system, ˙intiating visual, ˙auditory, and ˙˙spatial ˙˙hallucinations ˙˙that ˙˙might ˙˙˙be interpreted ˙as ˙an interaction with UFOs and their occupants.